We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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