xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
