is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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