You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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