I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
