i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you never un-have a 4some
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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