"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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