dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
