I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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