If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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