I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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