peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
