Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
