we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
