just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
