she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
