you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
