Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
