Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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