I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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