Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize