I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I puked a lego.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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