So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
