i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize