tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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