oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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