how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
