So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
