Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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