Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
