I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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