I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize