hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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