Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
