don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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