Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
