that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
