Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
