The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
