I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
