so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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