You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
