Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
