I want to have your abortion
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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