i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
