rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
