a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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