just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So. Much. Porn.
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