And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize