he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
