my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
they're like a gay fantastic four
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
