What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
