nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
