i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize