i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
