i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
