I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
