I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
