I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
