Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize