I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
