we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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