if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize