I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hippo gnu deer
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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